October 13, 2023

Working for a boss you can't trust is beyond frustrating—it's infuriating. The constant games, broken promises, and credit-stealing aren’t just annoying; they’re toxic. You’ve got to recognize the signs fast, call it out for what it is, and protect yourself at all costs—while always remaining professional.

Spotting the Red Flags

First off, inconsistency is the number one red flag. If your boss changes their tune every five minutes, can’t keep a promise, or conveniently forgets that conversation you had, they’re showing you exactly who they are. If they’re taking credit for your hard work? That’s not just bad leadership—it’s disrespect. And let’s be real: disrespect erodes trust.

Another sign? Withholding key information. You shouldn't have to read minds to do your job. When your boss keeps you in the dark, it creates an anxiety-ridden environment where you're constantly second-guessing. And that’s when it gets toxic.

Set Boundaries and Stand Firm

Dealing with an untrustworthy boss means you have to be assertive—no more bending over backward. If they love making last-minute changes or giving vague instructions, stop playing their game. Demand clarity. Get things in writing, and don’t let them wiggle out of it. Always keep your communication professional, even when you're frustrated.

When they cross the line into your personal time? Set hard limits. Don’t be afraid to say, "I’m available during work hours, not after." If you’re constantly on call for someone who doesn’t respect your boundaries, you’re giving them control over your life. Take it back while remaining courteous and firm.

Protect Yourself

Documentation is your new best friend. Every email, every meeting recap, every broken promise—get it on record. Follow up after conversations with an email summarizing what was discussed. You need that paper trail when the inevitable fallout happens. And trust me, it will.

Don’t just stop at emails. Keep a personal log of all the shady behavior. Note dates, times, and details. This isn’t paranoia; it’s protecting your career. If it comes to HR, you want hard evidence, not hearsay.

Build a Support System

You’re not the only one noticing your boss’s antics, so find your allies. Talk to trusted colleagues and validate what you're experiencing. When you're all seeing the same thing, it’s not just in your head. And if you can, get a mentor. Someone with more experience and insight into the company culture can help you navigate this mess and figure out the best way to protect yourself.

Know When It’s Time to Leave

Look, sometimes you can’t fix what’s broken. If your boss refuses to change and your job is draining the life out of you, it’s time to reassess. No job is worth sacrificing your mental health or your career growth.

Before you jump ship, though, be smart about it. Start quietly updating your resume, reach out to your network, and prepare for the exit. A toxic boss isn’t worth sticking around for, especially when there are better opportunities out there.

Final Thoughts: Dealing with an untrustworthy boss is a game of survival. Protect your time, your sanity, and your career by recognizing the red flags, setting firm boundaries, and keeping a detailed record. Always remain professional, even in the face of adversity. And if all else fails, get out before it drags you down. You deserve better.

Lettice Mayfield
Senior HR Consultant
Resourceology360, LLC